Friday, November 29, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013

We're finally all home :) Jason and I went to Bass Pro and did some Black Friday shopping today. We got in line at 4:30 this morning. It was oh so cold... Janie and Si stayed with Jason's parents last night. 

Si had his first semi-solid food last night! Granted it was only rice cereal mixed with formula but that's about all he can have at this young. Mrs Susanne said that he slept from 11:00 last night until 8:30 this morning :)

Right now Si is asleep in my arms and Janie is in her room reading. Jason just went to Wal-Mart for something for his gun scope... 

All in all I had a pretty good Thanksgiving :)

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Ever

Chris picked up Janie for her to spend the night with him at his parents' house...

This will be the first time she's spent the night with them.

Ever.

I miss my Janie so much...

I shouldn't complain. I shouldn't dwell on this... but I cannot help but to be overwhelmed by an empty sadness that is trying to consume me.

And I can't help but to think, is this how Chris has felt every night for the past 3 years?

I feel like a horrible person for wanting her home... I texted Chris earlier and asked him to please tell Janie that I love her. He said that he would and told me that she was having a good time with her cousins. 

That did make me feel better.

But I still miss her...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Sadness...

I miss my Janie so much...

I shouldn't complain. I shouldn't dwell on this... but I cannot help but to be overwhelmed by an empty sadness that is trying to consume me.

And I can't help but to think, is this how Chris has felt every night for the past 3 years?

I feel like a horrible person for wanting her home... I texted Chris earlier and asked him to please tell Janie that I love her. He said that he would and told me that she was having a good time with her cousins. 

That did make me feel better.

But I still miss her...

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Still friends

Today Janie's daddy came to see her for the first time in almost 6 months. I'm not faulting him for his absence; he has been working 1500 miles away and couldn't really help it.

They have been texting back and forth every day for the past week. Her face lights up when she talks about him :) 

When he got here today he asked if he could take her to see his parents. Of course I said yes. They left around 3:30 and I said she needed to be home by 8:30. 

The whole time she was gone I felt that a part of me was missing. It was a retched and horrible feeling. A feeling of emptiness and hopelessness... I held onto Si tight and rocked him longer than usual while she was gone... 

Chris had her home before 8:30 and he and I got to talk and catch up. He's missed a great deal since he's been gone for so long. But he is trying to make up for it.

I am so very blessed.

I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby boy, a precious daughter that is my saving grace, and I have a good relationship with my ex-husband. Not many people can say they've gone through a divorce and are still friends with their ex. But I am absolutely glad that I am.