Friday, May 29, 2015
"Well it has taken me sometime to be open about a decision that I have made not just for my wonderful husband, who has been my rock and my shelter but for my children who make me wanna be better every day. I have received a lot of private messages asking me how have I lost my weight? And this has been a very private matter between my family & close friends , but as I sit here watching "My 600lb Life" I can't help but see myself on this show. No I never reached that big in weight but close enough to where I was in Congestive Heart Failure , and I see myself in everyone one of these people who are fighting to get their life back.. I have struggled with My weight my entire life, yo yo diets, and trying to hide away a lot of pain, and as I got older my emotional pain got worse. So what does almost every heavy set woman do, she hides it and hides it well, usually behind a great smile and BIG personality. Trying to be the life of the party and the most outspoken, just to hide the physical & mental abuse, not just from family ,but so called friends and even strangers. So in some ways I've become a master manipulator of my own self.. And not until I started this journey of finding myself my true self , did I realize that. So, I had some tough decisions to make , well at least at the time I thought they were tough decisions, and now that I've made the decision to FORGIVE, I look back and tell myself it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It was one of the best gifts I could give myself to FORGIVE those who have done me wrong but also to FORGIVE myself for whom I've done wrong. So my next decision was to have the Gastric Bypass surgery and that is the 2nd best decision I've made for myself.. There is no looking back, it is onward and upward for me and my family. I have had some of my, who I thought were my friends, that I shared this with leave me some pretty hurtful messages, telling me it was a coward way out to face my demons head on..Well my decision was not made for anyone else other than myself and my family .. I am sharing my story because I want to be honest with you all when you ask me how did I do it, I'm not ashamed. I just had to come to terms before telling everyone something so personal. So please understand why I hesitated.. Thank you and I love you all."
~ Kimberly Holley
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Monday, May 25, 2015
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Saturday, May 23, 2015
I save voicemails and even back the files up whenever you or my daddy leave me a message. If something ever happens to either of you, I will always be able to hear your voices...
One day you will understand how it feels to be a parent. How it feels to have part of your heart and soul walking around outside of yourself. How horribly scary and infinitely wonderful that can be all at once. How absolutely empty and drowning it all feels when your child disobeys or falls short.
Earlier this week a past student of mine came to visit us at the high school. A few months ago she had a very bad car wreck and almost died. She spent over a month in Birmingham in the hospital before being released and having to go to USA Women's and Children's hospital 3 times a week for her neck and spinal injuries. She is still wheelchair and cannot walk. She may never be able to walk again. She wears a backbrace and a neck brace at all times. She also does not have use of either of her hands.
I cried when I tried to talk to Chantel. The only words I could muster through my tears (and ugly crying face) were, that we loved her. But all I could think was what if that was my child. What if something happened to my Janie or my Si? That's where the tears flowed from. My unending love and worry for both of you.
If I cannot trust you on small things, I cannot trust you with big things. Like going on a trip to Point Clear, or going anywhere that you aren't 100% with me or your daddy. Your daddy doesn't want you to lie to him either, I promise.
I know you think I am mean, and you probably think I am too strict. You and Si are the most important people in my life. And my most important job while I am here on earth is for me to be a good Momma.
I love you Janie. More than you can understand.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Daddy turned to me and smiled his sincere grin, "My son. How wonderful does that sound?! I've never been able to say those words."
"But you can say 'My grandson' which is pretty awesome too," was my reply.
These points were taken from the above article.. I have found solice in the fact that there are other people in the world like me. We are the ones who absolutely do not understand why anyone would want to be so mean and evil to other people.
1. Evil hearts are experts at creating confusion and contention.
2. Evil hearts are experts at fooling others with their smooth speech and flattering words.
3. Evil hearts crave and demand control, and their highest authority is their own self-reference.
4. Evil hearts play on the sympathies of good-willed people, often trumping the grace card.
5. Evil hearts have no conscience, no remorse.
They want you to believe that:
1. Their horrible actions should have no serious or painful consequences.
2. That if I talk like a gospel-believing Christian I am one, even if my actions don’t line up with my talk.
Friday, May 15, 2015
Tonight's Memory Night program really got to me. I don't usually get emotional during the video, but this year I did. Almost 20 years ago we lost someone who had no clue how much of an impact he had on our lives. The song See You Again at the end of the video tonight caused my eyes to flood with tears. We miss you Danny. I cherish the memories I have with you, and I know that I was blessed to know you the short time you were on this earth. I look forward to the day I will get to see you again...
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Monday, May 4, 2015
My sweet Si is sick :( he was perfect all afternoon until Jason got home and then he started crying. A couple of hours later he puked all over Jason...
We got him cleaned up and bathed (Jason too) and then he puked again... All over Jason.
For the moment he seems to be content. No fever as of yet. He keeps rolling over and moving around as though he cannot get comfortable...
Tomorrow I am supposed to take pictures at Si's daycare... Perfect timing...
And now he's puked a third time. In me. I guess the third time was a charm...
Friday, May 1, 2015
So maybe I won't have to abandon Blogger after all :)
As for what caused my sudden aversion for the site yesterday, maybe I can explain later...