Home sweet home

2017 is looking like it is going to be an even better year than I first realized!

Back in April or May of 2016 I found out that there were plans to move my teaching position to a new school about 15 miles away from my hometown for Fall of 2017. I don’t have anything against the town or the new school. It will undoubtedly be a really good thing for everyone... Except for me.

Now, I realize that the good of one should not outweigh the good of all. But I am also selfish. I love what I do (most of the time). I love where I teach. I went to school here. I grew up here. My daddy still teaches here. I am home.

This is my HOME.

When I came back to JHS after working in industry, I didn’t feel like I was starting something new. I felt like I was going home.

Now, yesterday I got a phone call from my principal. He told me that I will not be able to be moved to the new school because it will not be finished by the projected date.

Home sweet home.

It may only be one more year, but I will take whatever I can get J

Listen to your babies

There has been a lot of drama going n lately. There's been some stuff with Women's League and at the time I was like this is crazy! Then I found out about the possibility of my job moving to another town and I was all bummed out about it. Then last night I read this...

There seems to be a lot of confusion about what's going on so I'm just going to tell y'all. We are in desperate need once again MORE THAN EVER for your prayers. It seems like we are always going through a struggle with our children but we always come through stronger than ever. I pray for Landon's healing and strength! I pray for the strength that we need to stay strong for him. Yesterday he was a normal little boy playing baseball in the yard, last night around 10:30 he started complaining that his tummy hurt (like usual), we gave him his daily medicine and he went to the bathroom then went to bed saying his tummy felt better (again this is a normal thing for us). He woke up about an hour later throwing up and screaming in pain trying to use the bathroom again, this was a little unusual. We tried giving him a little extra medicine to help him thinking there was still more for him to get rid of. He gripped the toilet with his hands and feet screaming, crying, and pouring sweat. Jeremey Tillman and I decided it was time to take him to the emergency room bc we couldn't get relief for him and the vomiting was a little concerning. We get to the ER thinking he just has a blockage (we have had this problem before, they give him meds to clean him out and the problem is solved) over about 8 hours he completely lost his color, was extremely lethargic, lips were blue, dehydrated, and couldn't even fight the nurses while they stuck him 14 times trying to get blood. They took him for a barium enema (test to try to see where the obstruction was where they inject dye and see where it's getting stuck, during the test the doctor came to the waiting room and told me that the second set of blood work they had done came back and it was significantly worse in just those few hours meaning he needed surgery and would be taken for surgery this afternoon. Just a few minutes later the manager comes to get me out of the waiting room to take me into private so the people doing the study could come talk to me. They informed me that Landon's heart had stopped. They had intubate him and we're doing chest compressions to try to revive him. It took them 18 minutes to get him back. They wheeled him by us in the hallway and couldn't stop bc they had to take him straight into surgery. They had to remove a huge part of his colon bc it had died. Due to this his kidneys and liver took a hit too and they are having to watch them. He has a colostomy bag to allow his intestines to heal, they are having to watch his lungs and heart due to the cardiac arrest and compressions, and they are having to watch for brain damage due to lack of oxygen. Please, PLEASE listen to ur babies no matter how old when they tell u something is wrong with them and figure out what it is. One day we are normal and having tummy aches due to what we thought was the normal constipation, the next my baby is in icy fighting for his life! Please listen to your kids and pay attention to signs! And PLEASE KEEP OUR LITTLE MAN AND OUR FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS!!

Now all the things that are going on or going wrong in my life seem so very miniscule. I cannot imagine what this family is going through. And I just heard that there isn't any brain activity showing for Landon.

My heart is breaking...

Sweet Silly Si

Eleven years ago

I found this old entry I wrote when Janie was about 9 months old... Over eleven years ago!!!

10.12.2004 @ 10:57 am

everyday



janie is growing more and more curious every day. she can even stand up by herself now! well, maybe that isn't exactly correct... i have to stand her up, but she can stand there once someone else stands her up. understand?

she is also getting closer and closer to standing on her own literally. she will pull up to her knees. or she will put her hands down in front of her and straighten out her legs so that she is bent in an upside down "v". i keep worrying that she is going to topple over head first, but as far as i know, that has yet to happen.

she is getting more and more beautiful everyday.

Apparently I had an aversion to using any capital letters when I was blogging back then.  It is so very strange to look back at entries from my old blog. It goes from 2004 to this year. Thorough the births of 2 children and two marriages. Through 2 c-sections (one very uneventful and another almost too eventful). Through 3 different jobs and a hundred different friends.

There are so many things that are different, but yet so many things are the same... It doesn't make me sad to read through my old entries, but it does make me feel as though I have grown. Grown as a teacher, as a wife and especially as a mother. It has a been an amazing journey so far and I can't wait to see where it goes next!!

If your mother asks you a question it's better to tell her the truth because chances are she's asking because she already knows the answer... ;-) @janie2022

via Instagram http://ift.tt/1JibgL8

and again...

Seriously... Dealing with this AGAIN this year... My poor child is doomed to be stuck with those kids until she graduates... Or we move...

I wrote a letter to the superintendent a few years back explaining the horrors of having to deal with them in a classroom all day long (since they didn't change classes then) and we got a reprieve last year. It was nice not to have to worry about a student hitting her or spitting on her. With the other issues we had last year, I probably would have had a nervous break down.

I firmly believe that the rights of special education students surpass the rights of regular education and gifted students in the classroom. Which is no politically correct to say, especially since I am in education.

But it is the truth.

And sometimes the truth hurts.

Censored

I finally got my daughter's report card from last year (I wasn't worried about it because now that parents can log in to the home portal and view grades, I had kept up with her scores) and included with the report card was a ██████████████████████████████████.

Now, last year was the first year I had not checked up on her teachers to make sure that the standards were being taught. I had never had an issue with any of the teachers in the past, and I started a new program at my job (going from curriculum to another) and in hindsight, I was a slacker. I put my job priorities over those of being a good helicopter mom... *snicker*


Her grades on her report card ███████████████████████. Now, I had issues with ███████████████████████ and even got ███████████████████████ over my ███████████████████████. I ███████████████████████, even if only ███████████████████████because at the time it didn't matter much anyway. What was done, was done.

But ███████████████████████. I cannot go back and undo what I did, or even redo it. It wouldn't make much sense now anyway. All I can do is put my faith in the teachers she has now. And I do have faith in them. Every one of them is good at what they do and she is a bright child.

Oh, and ███████████████████████.

P.S. If you (███████████████████████) see fit to ███████████████████████. The old ███████████████████████. Can you say, BLOCKED?? Sucks, huh? :)

Dear Janie,

I save voicemails and even back the files up whenever you or my daddy leave me a message. If something ever happens to either of you, I will always be able to hear your voices...

One day you will understand how it feels to be a parent. How it feels to have part of your heart and soul walking around outside of yourself. How horribly scary and infinitely wonderful that can be all at once. How absolutely empty and drowning it all feels when your child disobeys or falls short.

Earlier this week a past student of mine came to visit us at the high school. A few months ago she had a very bad car wreck and almost died. She spent over a month in Birmingham in the hospital before being released and having to go to USA Women's and Children's hospital 3 times a week for her neck and spinal injuries. She is still wheelchair and cannot walk. She may never be able to walk again. She wears a backbrace and a neck brace at all times. She also does not have use of either of her hands.

I cried when I tried to talk to Chantel. The only words I could muster through my tears (and ugly crying face) were, that we loved her. But all I could think was what if that was my child. What if something happened to my Janie or my Si? That's where the tears flowed from. My unending love and worry for both of you.

If I cannot trust you on small things, I cannot trust you with big things. Like going on a trip to Point Clear, or going anywhere that you aren't 100% with me or your daddy. Your daddy doesn't want you to lie to him either, I promise.

I know you think I am mean, and you probably think I am too strict. You and Si are the most important people in my life. And my most important job while I am here on earth is for me to be a good Momma.

I love you Janie. More than you can understand.

❤,

Momma