Wednesday, December 31, 2014

lime jello and popsicles

Hopefully tomorrow I get discharged. I had another upper GI done this morning and they told me it looked great :)

Today I ate almost a full cup of lime jello for lunch. For supper I had two sugar free popsicles. The popsicles were definitely better than the yogurt lol

The CNA wanted me to walk the halls so I did for about 15 minutes. And my nurse (not the mean nurse from last night -thank goodness!) Gave me phenergen to help me sleep and dilaudid for pain.

I sure have missed my sweet baby Si...

Janie and Jason went to go watch a movie and then they're going to watch the fireworks in downtown Mobile :)

moan and groan

I just went walking around the halls of the hospital. I passed by a few rooms and I think this must be the bariatric wing of the hospital. I even kinda recognized one guy from the class we had to take.
Night Nurse Lady has been a completely different person than she was earlier.

I hate to be a complainer. I dispise having to hear someone complain over and over again, especially about the same thing. It's monotonous and idiotic. I also hate nagging. That's why I don't nag Jason. I'll ask once; that's it. If it isn't done after that, either it won't be done or I will do it myself. I had to do a lot for myself when I was married to Chris because he was gone off working construction so much. I just got used to it.

But this time it really paid off to complain and moan and groan about things.

Or maybe it was the subtle hint that I was going to complain to her boss...

Yep. That was probably it ;)

too little too late

I am about to fire my nurse.

She is uncaring and rude. When I ask her for pain medication she huffs at me. She's been late bringing it to me every time. Once I had to wait over 2 hours.

I have a bad feeling that if u was a different race she wouldn't be treating me like this.

And what is amazing is that when she could tell that I was mad she immediately did a 180 and started acting like she cared and even apologizing.

Too little, too late.

sleep for an hour...

Sleep for an hour...

Get woke up by the pain returning. Awake for an hour.

Sleep for an hour...

Get woke up by the lab tech so she can take my vital signs. Stay awake for about 30 minutes.

Sleep for an hour...

Get woke up by the alarm on my IV bag going off because it's empty...

And now I'm awake.

And it's only 2 o'clock am...


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

closet optimist

I survived surgery! I'm now sitting in my hospital room waiting on midnight so I can get my next dose of dilaudid. I haven't had anything to eat or drink since yesterday evening. I'm definitely not hungry but I sure am thirsty!

I am soooooooooo sore... my insides are all messed up. I should have expected this, but of course I didn't. That's the down side of being a closet optimist.

I can't wait to see my Baby Si! It was 2 years ago today that I found iut I was pregnant with him.

And the rest is history :) beautiful, wonderful history :)

good date

Surgery day :)

I am actually laying in the pre-op room waiting on them to take me to surgery.

My stomach is in knots. I've had to go to the bathroom twice already. Hopefully everything will go smoothly and they nurses won't have any hilarious stories to tell about me later lol

Jason is planning on taking Janie and Si to the Hank Aaron Stadium so they can see the Christmas lights tonight. And tomorrow night they'll get to see fireworks!

It was 2 years ago today that I found out I was pregnant with Si :)

December 30th is a good date :)

Sunday, December 28, 2014


Last night my mom called. I had to call her back because I had missed her call when I was giving Si a bath. I knew something was wrong when she didn't leave me a voicemail.

She asked me if I was alright. I told her I was great :) and I am great :)

Not far into the conversation she started to cry. She even asked me, "who do you go to when you need help?"

She cried almost the entire time we were on the phone. I almost started to feel sorry for her but I can't forget about how she has treated me ans made me feel like less. Less than a mother. Less than a daughter. Less than a human being. I do hope she feels better. I even told her she should go to the doctor and ask about getting on an antidepressant because it would help her immensely. She's probably not going to do that (because she thinks that would be like admitting something is wrong with her).

That old adage about leading a horse to water is definitely true.

I do wish someone (not me) had the guts to go to my uncle and tell him he had better start helping with his parents or his say-so in how they are cared for was going to be null and void. He's a real piece of work.

I expected a call this morning. She calls me every Sunday morning around 9 asking about taking Janie to church. But not today. I almost want to call her and make sure she's alright.


But... maybe I do need to call and check on my daddy...

Saturday, December 27, 2014


Am I scared? Of course I am. I honestly have been very cool about all of this until yesterday and the infamous conversation with my mom.

She thinks I'm not taking this seriously at all. That may be because I haven't acted scared about it in the least bit.

But yes, I am scared. Who wouldn't be?

But am I going to admit that to her?



My mom and I had a horrible fight today. It's been pretty much all I have been able to think about ever since I hung up the phone. Apparently someone told her that I was mean to Jason about his weight and she thinks I am being insensitive to other people because I am planning on having this surgery next week.

I broke down and cried. I yelled at her. I even cursed at her. And she never would tell me who told her I said such a horrible thing to Jason. It makes me wonder if she made it up.

She thinks I am being mean. Not that this is any different than the past 30 or so years. She also thinks I'm not taking this surgery seriously and she thinks I won't be able to do it.

I am done.

I cannot continue to allow her to berate me. She's been able to get into my head and cause me to think of myself in the negative way that she thinks of me.

I have had two huge fights with her lately. One was the week of thanksgiving and now this. It all boils down to her being unhappy. She thinks I blame her for all of my problems. She also thinks I hate my sister.

I don't hate anyone. Especially not my own sister.

When I went to a workshop in Tuscaloosa I downloaded a recording app to my phone. I didn't realize it was a phone conversation recorder. I wanted to record the audio from the workshop because it was very informative and interesting.

I had no clue how much I would use that phone conversation recorder. She seems to always say things to me while we are on the phone. It is probably because she knows I will get very upset and she doesn't have the guts to. Be so mean to me in person. Plus if no one else hears what she says she can deny it.

Well those days are over.

She told me in the conversation today that I said something earlier in the conversation that I knew I did not say. I was able to go back and make sure I had not said it. She doesn't realize that I've been recording her when we talk. But after today, I have a feeling she will find out soon.

I know she's unhappy with her life.

But that isn't my fault.

She doesn't want to take care of her parents but no one else will step up and help, so she is miserable and I am her mental punching bag of sorts.

But I am done.

I am scheduled for surgery on Tuesday at 9 that morning. I don't want her there and I've told her so. She wants Janie to stay with her and my daddy while I'm in the hospital. But after today's conversation Jason wants to get a hotel room for them (him, Janie and Si) to stay in.

I have got to realize that our relationship will never be picturesque like hers and my sister's. It will simply never happen. And I am starting to be fine with that.

I won't argue anymore.

I won't confide in her ever again.

I have got to stop allowing her negativity to rule my life.

This is my life. Not hers.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

exam day

exam day!!! today is the last day of exams (except for those who have to make up exams tomorrow) so this is the last day of students for me this term.

I have absolutely enjoyed teaching this term. I haven't had any problems with students or parents and I finally LOVE my curriculum.

now it's time to wrap Christmas presents!!!


Monday, December 15, 2014

rabid wombat

recently there has been a child in Janie's class that has been bullying her and her friends. she is calling them names and just being your run of the mill little punk.

the girl has gotten into trouble for it numerous times and things had gotten much better.
until today.

apparently this kid was making fun of one of Janie's friends today because the little girl had gotten bit by her dog on the nose. janie said it didn't look that bad. but the bully said that instead of the dog just biting her on the nose, she hoped that next time the dog bit her in the neck.

now... the rational part of me wants to think that this child, the bully, has some reason for acting out and she doesn't really understand what she said. maybe she doesn't realize that she wished bodily harm to the point of killing the little girl. she needs help on multiple levels.

the crazy momma in me wants to jerk her up and put the fear of God into her scrawny little self...
I contacted the school and spoke with the assistant principal. she tried to downplay what had been said and didn't seem surprised at all by what i told her.

this is a good example of why i am glad i have a call recorder on my cell phone.

i tried to contact the girl's mom (the girl who is being bullied, mot the bully) but she never responded to my message.

The assistant principal told me that she would 'deal with' the situation first thing in the morning.
i am a teacher. granted i teach high school which is worlds different from elementary or middle school, BUT there is absolutely no way i would tolerate any student acting the way this child has been acting. and as lax as my administrator can be on things, i highly doubt he would allow such behavior to continue.

i have become THAT mother, a mother bear defending her cubs from a rabid wombat.

Sunday, December 14, 2014


This is the last week of school before Christmas :-) I think I have bought all of the gifts I need to... except for a couple of small things.

I have two doctors appointments on Friday afternoon. I don't think I have ever been so excited, nervous and happy to go to the doctor... weird, huh?

Hopefully things will go smoothly and I won't be back writing an entry about anything negative lol

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

national junior beta club

Today my Janie was inducted into the National Junior Beta Club :)

I am so very proud of her!! She's been having problems with a girl at school bullying her and some of her friends. I had hoped to see the girl today; you know, just to be able to put a face with the name I hear so much.

But guess what?

She wasn't in the group that was inducted.

Apparently she's not that great of a student. Which may be part of the reason she is mean to Janie and her friends. Because the three girls that she picks on the most are all very smart.


This is the week before final exams. In college it's referred to as "dead week" and I think I understand why now. By this point everyone is dead tired of school.

Or it could be that this is the week that some kids find out they're no way going to pass a class - so their dead... ;)

Si has a pediatric cardiologist appointment tomorrow at noon. Jason is taking him because I don't have many sick leave days left. Si has a slight heart murmur. His pediatrician said it wasn't out of the ordinary for babies to have a slight heart murmur,but she wants to have him checked out just to make sure...

Goodness gracious, I hope it's nothing...