17.5 centimeters

I had an appointment at the wound care center today. It went much smoother than last week. No tears at all today. The pain has become much mire bearable than it was in the beginning and I can move around so much easier. It is amazing how much better I am now. Last Friday my incision measured 20.5 centimeters across. Today it measured 17.5 centimeters across. It has closed 3 whole centimeters!! Which is awesome!!

The depth of the wound in the center is 6 cm which is about the same as it was last week. And the goal of all of this is for it to heal from the inside out without leaving any voided space that could become a problem later (such as an abscess).

I am still looking at being off from work for 2 more months. And I don't even know if my sick leave has been approved... I simply cannot go back to work like this. I surely hope that it is approved soon...

Today I took the breastfeeding pump I had rented back to the store. It kinda made me sad... to know that I really absolutely would not be pumping any more. I had wanted so badly to do it this time. But it just didn't work out that way...

On-call home health nurse

Home sweet home...

Although it was definitely an experience getting here and even being here... on the way home, maybe 20 miles from the hospital, I realized that the dressing for my wound vac had come loose and I was leaking blood and fluid all over my pants. Of course I freaked out (just another item to add my my Murphy list) but Jason stayed calm. He called my home health nurse who said she would try to contact the wound care center (but of course they were already closed because bad things like to happen to me right after closing time) and she told Jason what to do to fix it if he could. And if he couldn't then she would call the on-call nurse to come to my house.

As soon as we got home Jason was able to fix the leak and everything was fine. That was about 6 o'clock. It's now half past 8 and I have another leak. From a different place than what Jason fixed. So he called Tammy again and she contacted the on-call nurse who is now on her way here.

This has been one helluva day. It's been a helluva past 17 days!

Murphy's Law

Now I am ready to be home. It has been a trying day so far. So many problems have crept up I cannot even begin to detail them all. Throughout this entire hospital stay, Murphy's Law has ruled my world. The biggest one was my wound vac that I was to be sent home with didn't work.

So we have been stuck at the hospital for the past 2 hours waiting on a new one.

I am so ready to hold my baby Si. And I am so damn ready to see my Janie. I have felt lost without her...

I have never in my entire life been so ready to be home. It is time. It is past time.

17 days

Si is 17 days old... out of the past 17 days, I have been in the hospital for 10 days.

And today I go home.

I am scared to death...

Scared to go home...

Right now I am hooked up to IV fluids, IV antibiotics, a breast pump, and a wound vac. I have more tubes running in and out if me than anyone could ever way...

My incision looks extremely better. Even the nurses were impressed. I just hooe the wound vac continues to work like it has...

I am scared to go home... and it isn't because I just love being at the hospital. I am scared of getting home and something else falling apart and having to turn back around and go back to the hospital again... we have made three trips in just over 2 weeks.

And tomorrow I should be released to go home. I've fought off 2 infections since being here. I hope there isn't a third.

I am scared to go home though... scared that something else will go wrong and I will have to endure the pain that I had to go through the last time I was home. I've already cried about it...

I am going to lay down and watch tv for a while... I hope my outlook on tomorrow gets better...

Out-patient

Went to the doctor today. Jason's mom kept Si for us at her house, which made the whole trip much easier. 

Doc had told me on Tuesday to take two Percocet before coming in because she knew it was going to be very painful for her to try to scoop out the blood from the hematoma.

Very painful is an understatement. 

I said things in that doctor's office through tears and clenched teeth that even surprised me. Why is it that cursing seems to help relieve stress??? Doesn't make much sense, honestly... But somehow it helped.

After laying there through agony for about 5 minutes (which I promise seemed much longer than 5 minutes) she asked me about having surgery tomorrow morning to get the rest of the blood out. Which means I would be put to sleep and she would really be able to get in there and clean all of it out.

So I am scheduled for out-patient surgery at 8:30 in the morning, and we have to be at the hospital by 6 o'clock.

So we are staying with Jason's parents tonight because it is closer to the hospital and Janie is going to stay with my parents so they can get her to school. She doesn't know this yet... I feel like I haven't spent much time with my Janie lately... And this just makes it worse... But I will be able to make up for it after all this is over :)

I have to pump, then wash bottles, and pack for us to stay with Jason's parents... After I take a little nap though...

zzzzzzz....