Thanksgiving 2013

We're finally all home :) Jason and I went to Bass Pro and did some Black Friday shopping today. We got in line at 4:30 this morning. It was oh so cold... Janie and Si stayed with Jason's parents last night. 

Si had his first semi-solid food last night! Granted it was only rice cereal mixed with formula but that's about all he can have at this young. Mrs Susanne said that he slept from 11:00 last night until 8:30 this morning :)

Right now Si is asleep in my arms and Janie is in her room reading. Jason just went to Wal-Mart for something for his gun scope... 

All in all I had a pretty good Thanksgiving :)

Ever

Chris picked up Janie for her to spend the night with him at his parents' house...

This will be the first time she's spent the night with them.

Ever.

I miss my Janie so much...

I shouldn't complain. I shouldn't dwell on this... but I cannot help but to be overwhelmed by an empty sadness that is trying to consume me.

And I can't help but to think, is this how Chris has felt every night for the past 3 years?

I feel like a horrible person for wanting her home... I texted Chris earlier and asked him to please tell Janie that I love her. He said that he would and told me that she was having a good time with her cousins. 

That did make me feel better.

But I still miss her...

Sadness...

I miss my Janie so much...

I shouldn't complain. I shouldn't dwell on this... but I cannot help but to be overwhelmed by an empty sadness that is trying to consume me.

And I can't help but to think, is this how Chris has felt every night for the past 3 years?

I feel like a horrible person for wanting her home... I texted Chris earlier and asked him to please tell Janie that I love her. He said that he would and told me that she was having a good time with her cousins. 

That did make me feel better.

But I still miss her...

Still friends

Today Janie's daddy came to see her for the first time in almost 6 months. I'm not faulting him for his absence; he has been working 1500 miles away and couldn't really help it.

They have been texting back and forth every day for the past week. Her face lights up when she talks about him :) 

When he got here today he asked if he could take her to see his parents. Of course I said yes. They left around 3:30 and I said she needed to be home by 8:30. 

The whole time she was gone I felt that a part of me was missing. It was a retched and horrible feeling. A feeling of emptiness and hopelessness... I held onto Si tight and rocked him longer than usual while she was gone... 

Chris had her home before 8:30 and he and I got to talk and catch up. He's missed a great deal since he's been gone for so long. But he is trying to make up for it.

I am so very blessed.

I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby boy, a precious daughter that is my saving grace, and I have a good relationship with my ex-husband. Not many people can say they've gone through a divorce and are still friends with their ex. But I am absolutely glad that I am.

Halloween 2013

Happy Halloween :)

I'm rocking Si to sleep, Jason is at work and Janie is at school.

Si is going to be Frankenstein's monster and Janie was supposed to be the Bride of Frankenstein but she doesn't want to wear the wig... lol

So she's most likely going to be a zombie or something close to that.

It is definitely going to be a different Halloween than past ones...

Doctors, doctors, doctors

Two doctors appointments yesterday. One with my OB-Gyn and one at the wound care center. My OB expected my incision to be completely closed. But it's not. So she's not releasing me to go back to work until the beginning of December. (I should probably add here that she wants to make me as happy as possible because all of this is their fault -- their as in the doctors who performed the c-section and later on did not do what they should have to stop the bleeding...)

The doctor at the wound care center changed the type of dressing that I will be using. It's some type of special pad that will help absorb the excessive drainage and blood that it has been producing. It definitely feels different. It is supposed to pull the skin towards it, helping it to close faster.

We will see...

My grandfather fell two nights ago and cracked his hip. The bad hip that he broke about 5 years ago. So in between my doctor appointments Jason and I went to Spring Hill to see him. I assumed they would do surgery, but since it is only fractured part of the way through, they are going to keep him through the weekend and release him Monday to rehab. 

So this completely changes things that my mom had planned for November. She was going to Dothan and taking Janie this coming weekend for the Peanut Festival, but now, probably not...

Ahh well.

More blood

Well my incision is now 9 centimeters across and .9 centimeters tall. There is absolutely no depth to it at all :) 

I've come a long way since this first began back in August. Then it measured over 22 centimeters wide, 7-8 centimeters deep, and at least that tall.

But here's the strange thing... it is bleeding more now than it was a week ago. 

When I stepped out of the shower this evening, blood ran down my legs and onto the floor. And it just kept pouring. 

Jason got me some paper towels to clean up most of the blood, and he's not concerned. The nurse did say that as long as it's bleeding that means it is getting good blood supply which it needs to heal.

I just don't understand why there's more blood...

There should be less.